Help! Mom Doesn’t Think She Needs Assisted Living

Assisted living communities can provide dynamic settings to truly thrive as one ages up.

However, making a shift in one’s life can be challenging–even if the shift will be rewarding and beneficial in the long term.

As an adult child of an aging parent, you may find that your mother or father will insist that assisted living isn’t needed, and that he or she is perfectly safe, happy, and comfortable living at home.

You may be wondering what you can do to help your loved one begin to see eye-to-eye with you when it comes to making a move to assisted living.

If your parent doesn’t think he or she needs assisted living, here are some helpful tips for addressing the challenge…

Ask your Mom why she thinks assisted living isn’t necessary.

Sometimes your mother simply wants to feel heard, and her opinion on the matter affirmed.

Giving your parent a chance to voice concerns provides you an opportunity to constructively address and work through any issues or fears she may have regarding the concept of moving to an assisted living community.

Oftentimes, these fears can be addressed and you can have the opportunity to clear up any misconceptions she may have about the concept of an assisted living community.

Simply giving your parent the chance to explain why he or she doesn’t think it’s needed can open up the conversation to potentially see things in a new light.

Evaluate your parent’s safety.

Perhaps your father has experienced one or more falls in recent months.

Or he’s left the stove on one too many times.

Gently addressing your father’s lack of safety in his current living situation can help him realize that a move to an assisted living community can grant him greater peace of mind.

No need to make your parent feel less independent or dignified.

Instead, remind him that assisted living communities make daily tasks such as bathing and dressing easier and safer, enabling him to continue living an enriched life.

Evaluate your parent’s social interaction.


Research has found that socialization for seniors is essential when it comes to their quality of life.

In fact, the University of Miami’s Global Business Forum conducted a study that concluded that for seniors, strong social ties are more influential in preventing illnesses than genetic backgrounds.

Therefore, ensuring your parent is surrounded with engagement opportunities is critical.

When discussing assisted living with your parent, be sure to highlight the positive aspects of having a community of fellow residents and team members just a few steps away.

If your mother realizes she won’t have to drive 15 minutes away to meet up with friends for a game of bridge, or play phone tag with that friend she’s been meaning to meet for lunch, she may end up changing her mind.

Evaluate your ability to provide care, or evaluate current caregivers.

If your loved one expects that you or other at-home caregivers can provide sufficient assistance, it’s important to openly weigh the pros and cons with him or her.

Oftentimes, family members don’t have the time or training to assist on a daily basis with tasks like bathing, dressing, and medication management.

Moving to a senior living community can ensure that time your loved one spends with family members is higher quality and more focused on engagement and conversation versus caregiving.

Additionally, although at-home professional caregivers are trained to assist with important tasks, this solution still lacks the significant socialization opportunities and easy access to enriching activities that assisted living communities provide.

Bring in other family members.

A chorus of voices can at times be more effective than a single voice.

Although you don’t want your mother or father to feel overly pressured, it can be helpful to bring in other family members to provide gentle encouragement in considering assisted living.

From highlighting the social opportunities to emphasizing the benefits of help with activities of daily living (ADLs), ask your family members to engage your parent in a conversation about the benefits of such communities. 

Have multiple conversations with your parent; don’t just make an executive decision.

Changing one’s mind and being open to change take time—give your parent the time and space to come around to the idea.

Making a quick executive decision can backfire and cause more issues than you want.

Instead, you may be surprised by your loved one’s thought process and decision after given the chance to contemplate the pros and cons a bit further.

Sometimes simply seeing an assisted living community in action can turn the wheels in your loved one’s mind and help him or her see how wonderful the option could be.

We’d love to host you and your parent for a tour of The Ashford on Broad and The Ashford of Mt. Washington—schedule your tour today!

Home Health vs. Assisted Living: Making the Right Choice

At one time, your monthly visits to Dad were enough to help him maintain independence.

But now…mowing the lawn and doing small repairs around the house can’t provide the care he needs.

If you recognize your parent requires more involved support, such as medication management or prepared meals, you may be debating between home health vs. assisted living.   

Before you make a decision, it’s important to understand what each option offers and how they differ. Even if your parent has already applied for home health services, you’ll want to keep on reading to ensure you’ve made the right choice.

In this article, we’re going to dive into home health vs. assisted living so you can make an informed decision for your loved one.

What Home Health Provides

To put it simply, home health agencies offer scheduled appointments at your loved one’s home.

Staff members hired by the company will visit your parent, providing the caregiving services you’ve agreed upon.

Home health agencies can give your parent…

  • Assistance for bathing, dressing, or other activities.
  • Meal preparation and housekeeping.
  • Medication management, therapy, and medical support.
  • Transportation and other services.

What Assisted Living Provides

When considering home health vs. assisted living, you may be surprised to learn that assisted living provides many of the same services as home health agencies.

While assisted living isn’t designed for seniors who need skilled nursing care, it does provide comprehensive support services such as…  

  • Assistance with the activities of daily living (such as dressing, grooming, and more).  
  • Daily meals, laundry, housekeeping, and maintenance.  
  • Medication management and therapy services.

Assisted living communities usually include on-site amenities, such as a beauty salon or library.

Most significantly, assisted living can transform your loved one’s daily routine with regular social events and outings to enjoy with friends.

Home Health vs. Assisted Living

Given the similarities between home health and assisted living, you may wonder what distinguishes the two from each other.

However, there’s a clear difference between home health vs. assisted living. Here are a few important facts you should know…

  1. Home health can be unpredictable compared to assisted living.

It’s a fact.

Relying on home health agencies can create unpredictability and instability for your loved one. As Home Care Pulse explains, your parent may experience multiple caregivers or visits that start late, end early, or simply never happen.  

With assisted living, your loved one’s care won’t be affected by factors like road traffic, ensuring greater predictability for your parent.

  1. With home health, strangers will visit your loved one’s home compared to the familiarity of assisted living caregivers.

In 2015, Forbes reported that for temporary jobs with “a median wage less than $15 per hour, Home Health Aide…is expected to see the greatest growth, 15{66428b7e0c8aff20c6fe525529a828ba776cb26d03e1544c2af380e334db2dbd}.”

However, temporary workers can mean unfamiliar faces for your parent and increased risk.

In contrast, the structure of an assisted living community can provide your loved one with a greater sense of stability and better quality care.

  1. Home health visits temporarily relieve isolation while assisted living care provides consistent social interaction.

Home health visits are a form of social interaction for your parent.

The problem is…a few hours from an aide isn’t enough to remove your parent’s social isolation, much less provide the same benefit as a lively lunch with friends.

Thanks to community meals, events, and activities, assisted living gives Mom the continuous interaction she needs to avoid loneliness and enjoy her golden years.  

  1. Home health workers aren’t around 24/7 while assisted living caregivers are.  

Let’s face it. Your loved one’s needs don’t always follow the home health agency’s schedule.

When Mom suddenly requires immediate help for safety, there’s no guarantee the home health worker will be at her house.

The good news is, with assisted living, help is nearby…every hour of every day.  

Deciding between the Two

When it comes to choosing between home health vs. assisted living, there are a variety of factors to consider.

However, you can simplify your decision by analyzing your parent’s current state of independence.

If your parent is primarily independent—but needs some occasional assistance—look further into your home health options. If a few visits a week won’t provide the level of physical safety and emotional support your parent needs, consider assisted living.  

But perhaps the real reason it’s difficult to choose between home health services and assisted living care comes down to a different factor—the cost of assisted living.

There’s no reason to let expensive assisted living rates pressure you into choosing a senior care option that doesn’t fit your parent’s needs.  

At The Ashford, we offer affordable assisted living, providing your loved one with high-quality care at a price that reflects his or her financial resources.

To learn more and experience our communities, schedule a time to visit today.